Animal Alchemist
by Rangitikei
Summary: This story was inspired by SpeedyStace on Quizilla and Haganeko's story "Sensible Difference." If you haven't read them, check them out! PM me if you want links. CHAPTER TWO IS UP! Please review! RoyxOC. Rated M for language and later chapters.
1. Returning

**A/N:** There are several updates to the story that I've made. First off, the story will start _after_ the Elric brothers and Absinthe reach Amestris. Second, Absinthe's appearance has changed to be a female version of Ed from Germany's side of the Gate. I know Ed's _male_ double died, but that doesn't mean I can't make a female kind! Also, the Eniden family will be on the Amestris side instead of Germany. I also hope that I didn't make them too OOC. I have an in-depth knowledge of the _FMA_ characters' personalities, so I figure that any OOC there may be, I apologize and please tell me if something seems so. Thanks.

**Disclaimer:** I do not in any way own _Fullmetal Alchemist_, its characters, or anything else pertaining to it. They are respectfully copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa, her team, Funimation, Aniplex, etc. However, I do own my OC Absinthe Grigginger and if you dare try stealing her, editing her, put her in your own story without _MY_ absolute permission, I will come at you like a rabid mother bear in heat. Trust me, that ain't pretty. :D

* * *

**Chapter One**  
"Returning"

The diamond-like sparks from the transmutation slowly bounced away and faded into nothing. Steam and smoke that clung to the air crawled down the throats of all life nearby, choking and asphyxiating as it slowly mimicked the sparks and dissipated. It seemed that not a soul remained until a sudden scream of realization and shock rose out of nowhere like a siren.

The young girl that sat in the middle of the glowing, purple transmutation circle stopped shrieking as another form clasped their hand over her mouth. Shy golden eyes locked with a matching, more masculine pair that sternly kept her gaze.

"Stop. You have to be quiet," the boy said as he pulled his hand away from her. Obediently, she bit her lip and turned away from his gaze, moving her arms up to cover her bare breasts. As he came to realize his current situation was identical to hers, he blushed furiously and instinctively let his pair of human hands come to fly across his lower regions and cover himself.

"Ed... where are we?" the girl whimpered, her own blush gracing her cheeks as she turned her back to Edward and gazed at Alphonse's sleeping form just a few inches away. Lucky for all of them, he was sleeping face down with only his naked butt exposed. It would have been comical if it wasn't for all of them being naked and scared shitless.

As his name was spoken, Ed perked and looked around the girl to gaze at his brother. "We're in the Underground City," he said rather calmly as he let his eyes roam the scenery. If it hadn't been for their lack of clothes, they'd have already skirted out of here in about two seconds flat.

With a groan, the girl didn't bother asking what the Underground City was, but instead shifted slightly and hugged herself even tighter if at all possible and frowned. "... Ed?" The frightened girl craned her head to look over her shoulder at the older boy.

"What, Absinthe?"

"... I'm hungry."

* * *

A rather bored and stressed general sat in his big, black chair at his big, brown desk. An increasing pile of paperwork mockingly towered over him and with his brain power plummeting from boredom, the poor man began to actually see a sneering face in the stack. Growling to himself as he pulled his head from the brace of his hand, he reached into his pocket and commenced with drawing out a pyrotechnic glove and tugging it on... just as Riza Hawkeye strolled in.

With a demonic maroon glare that could stop a heart, she narrowed her eyes on Roy Mustang as he lifted his hand to snap at the paper and turn it into nothing but thin, black ashes.

"Don't you even dare," Riza warned calmly, all the more scarier than it would have been if she'd yelled at him. Mustang turned towards her sharply, having not even noticed that she'd entered his office.

"Don't tell me you have more paperwork," he groaned back in a smart ass reply and rolled his eyes, but reluctantly picked up his pen and returned to the work that lay on his desk or so help him the blonde sniper wouldn't just fire a few rounds through his skull right then and there.

"Touché," Hawkeye replied pleasantly, "but no, I don't. We just got a few reports from some of the employees and civilians all around Central of a mild tremor."

Roy immediately ceased his scribbling and lifted his head to face the stern blonde. "A tremor? Do you think it's from the Underground City?"

"We're investigating right now, sir, but that seems very likely."

"Gather Fuery, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and several others. We'll start our own investigation as well," Roy ordered as he stood from his chair and strode across the white floor to retrieve his black overcoat from the hanger.

* * *

Another scream shook Ed's eardrums as his younger brother awoke. Alphonse's hands tried covering every inch of exposed skin that he could while he also tried hiding behind Ed. "B-Brother! Where are we and why am I- why are _we_ naked!?"

The older brother dared not try covering his ears, but only hissed at Al to quiet him down. With a pounding headache begging to emerge, he sighed. "The damn Gate took our clothes, so unless we do something about it, we're screwed."

Absinthe sighed as well and furrowed her brows angrily as she considered what Ed had told her about the Underground City. Hopefully this wasn't the place Edward was talking about as his home when they were all stuck back in Germany.

"Well, you said so yourself. Sitting here won't do anything, so let's get off our asses and do something," she ordered sharply, but made no move to get up.

With a shrug, Ed said, "Ladies first," and then began to snicker. Alphonse looked between Ed and Absinthe and grinned, but didn't laugh. Absinthe could swear that the hair on her arms and the back of her neck was standing on end as if she were bristling. She blushed again and made a noise of frustration.

"This isn't a time to be laughing!" Absinthe growled fervently. "We're all naked and before you know it, we'll all start to get cold."

As she spoke, the purple glow from the intricate lines of the transmutation circle grew intensely bright and the trio gasped as they shielded their eyes with their arms. Suddenly, it died with a flash and several sparkles of what was left of the glow slowly fluttered to the ground. The circle was gone.

* * *

Mustang and his troop of ten men and women ran through the deep, long expanse of buildings and streets known as the Underground City. Most of his crew was panting and out of breath, but Roy's experience in the field had provided him with ample stamina and he dashed through the huge city.

As the rest fell behind, the general slowed down but proceeded further and was the first to witness the unfathomable glow of the transmutation circle fighting for life before vanishing completely.

"What the hell?" he asked as Riza caught up to him with her gun drawn.

"This doesn't look like an earthquake at all. The last thing we need is another rip between worlds like before," Hawkeye stated as she followed the curious general with caution.

When they passed a large building and stepped into view of the transmutation circle, they were close enough to surprise the naked group that sat within.

"What the fuck?!!" Ed and Absinthe screamed in surprise and horror at the same time as they snapped their arms down again to cover themselves, but they weren't quick enough to keep the eyes of the two ahead of them from seeing their goodies.

Roy and Riza, both struck with surprise, took no concern into the fact that the others had caught up with them and were all equally shocked. Mustang was beginning to feel weak in the knees, but swallowed and tried to keep balance.

"Fullmetal...?" he asked, but he wasn't focused mainly on him, but the girl that sat nearly crying with embarrassment next to him. Her wide, golden eyes were locked on him and her body was quivering as she clutched herself tightly. With the time he'd had, he'd glimpsed at her large breasts that molded well with her form before she'd blocked them from view.

"Look away, you damn pervert!!" Ed shrieked at them and grit his teeth, feeling rather exposed as Hawkeye lowered her gun and followed Ed's order quickly. Mustang snapped out of his trance that he'd unknowingly acquired from staring at Absinthe.

Alphonse noticed the number of people that had arrived and seen him naked and the most he could do was just groan as his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted. Absinthe tensed up and blushed madly, feeling embarrassed enough to cry.

Apprehensively, Mustang, Hawkeye, and Havoc approached to offer their coats to them. Ed and Absinthe quickly snatched them up while the unhappy Havoc was left to wrap his around the unconscious Al.

It was from that day forward that Absinthe, with the help of the Elric brothers, had escaped her war infested homeland of Germany, crossed into Amestris, and had the hottest guy she ever saw see her boobs.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope I didn't disappoint! I know it seems a lot short and I apologize for that. I didn't mean to make it look short, but my OpenOffice shows two text wrapped sentences on FanFiction as three or four, etc. One day I might make my sentences more detailed or longer. Sorry. :(


	2. Adjustments

**A/N:** I hope whoever read my last chapter enjoyed it! ^^ Also, don't get used to the updates happening too quickly (ha, right). I do have a life beyond the computer, but thankfully I can get on after my homework is complete from school and if I'm not distracted by mIRC, I'll gladly type up the next chapter. ALSO!!: sometimes I get severe writer's block and most of my chapters are planned out, but some just come up out of the blue. _If you have any suggestions you'd like to give me for whatever happens in my next chapters, please review and if it's included, I will give you credit in my author notes._ Thanks! :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not in any way own _Fullmetal Alchemist_, its characters, or anything else pertaining to it. They are respectfully copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa, her team, Funimation, Aniplex, etc. However, I do own my OC Absinthe Grigginger and if you dare try stealing her, editing her, put her in your own story without _MY_ absolute permission, I will come at you like a rabid mother bear in heat. Trust me, that ain't pretty. :D

**PS:** I feel pretty guilty because a lot of the stuff in here is referenced from Haganeko's _Sensible Difference_ (as you saw in the description, hopefully), but when you think about it, where else would Absinthe go? Read further and you'll find out what I'm talking about.

* * *

**Chapter Two**  
"Adjustments"

**-ONE MONTH LATER-**

Ever since that fateful day down in the Underground City, there had been a lot of discussion as to where Absinthe would be staying. It was a majority vote that she would be staying at Hawkeye's house until they found a better place for her to stay. Edward had offered his dorm, but Riza found it best that the girl have her own privacy. Absinthe could at least say the same, but she felt rather intimidated being around a woman she hardly knew and having the man she'd learned whose name was Roy Mustang come over mostly every day with Ed and Al at his heels. Nevertheless, she'd adjusted and gotten used to their frequent visits, often bringing food over to help Riza out with the rather large cost of it since Absinthe had stayed. What can you say? A growing kid needs their vitamins... and nutrients.

One thing they could all agree on were the huge similarities that Ed and Absinthe both shared. Both had the same color of vibrant golden hair and eyes, though Absinthe's hair held a candy apple sheen under a specific lighting. They had the same build; stocky, but muscular, though of course Absinthe had her feminine curves. And, to top it all off, they even shared the same personalities. Enormous appetites, height sensitivity, and fear of needles (in Absinthe's case, it was just hate). If that didn't scare you, the fact that they both have that creepy, yellow antenna will!

However, even with all of the uncanny characteristics of Ed, Roy felt attracted to the younger girl who at her current age was just sixteen compared to his twenty-six. With her supple curves in just the right places, she was absolutely irresistible to him and was one of the key reasons he showed up at Hawkeye's house every day. Today was no exception. As he walked up the short cement driveway that also served as Riza's sidewalk, he strode to the door with Ed and Al at his heels and knocked twice.

A muffled shout came from the other side of the heavy door and was hard to discern, but it was clear that the occupant was welcoming them inside. As Roy pushed the mahogany door open and to the side, he was surprised to see only Absinthe around with her back to them as she busied herself with cooking egg sandwiches.

Mustang gave a short chuckle as he noticed what she was cooking and with a turn of her head, her blond hair swayed against her back as she turned and stared at him with a hard, golden stare. "What's so funny?" she inquired, skillfully lifting the four eggs from the frying pan, placing them in pairs on the slices of fresh bread, and then moving to grab two more from the carton without taking her eyes off the pair of dark cobalt that held them. She wasn't too fond of the man after what'd happen just one month previous, but she'd have to let it go sometime...

Roy shook his head and grinned at her as he pulled a chair out from under the table and sat just as Ed and Al set the boxes of food down on the linoleum and joined him. "Just the fact that you're cooking breakfast at what would be the time for a late lunch. Not only that, but your garb seems too, for lack of a better word, sophisticated," he replied as he pointed at the clock which read a quarter past four in the afternoon. He would usually work much later, but he was lucky to get off early. "Where's Hawkeye?"

Absinthe snorted at the raven-haired man who sat at the table still in his military uniform and blushed lightly. "I can read clocks..." she growled. "And if you're looking for _Riza_, she's upstairs arranging my stuff. In return, I'm cooking her an early dinner, and hey, it may not be spectacular, but I only know how to cook a few things without instructions and ingredients sitting in front of my face."

Roy was slightly amused, amused enough not to care that the girl was being cocky and giving him an attitude. From behind him, he heard Ed whisper something about equivalent exchange as he and his brother began unpacking the boxed food, but he didn't pay mind to it. It was always him to think of alchemy in every waking moment. Instead, Roy was again fixated on the beauty in front of him.

She held every aspect of Ed, practically breathed his essence, but Roy wasn't worried about that nor did he show concern for it. His gaze was locked on how swiftly her hands moved over the frying pan as they spiced the eggs with flicks of salt and pepper. He could only imagine how soft they were. Smiling lightly which was a hard thing to see on Roy's face due to his ever present smirk, his eyes swam down her body to rest a pleasant stare on her butt.

Wait, did I say butt?

The general felt his pulse quicken and nervousness prick at his skin at the thought of being caught staring at the young woman. He shouldn't be doing such a thing! It was immoral and... and wrong! Just absolutely wrong! But it was just so enticing... It reminded him of the days when he was just a teenager back in his strategic private school. He'd been placed there because, like Ed, he too was (and is) a prodigy and was advanced in many subjects... particularly chemistry.

His hormones did him no good back then as they were doing now, but at least he'd grown to control them. The woman of his memories was his geometry teacher of tenth grade, Ms. Hardin. She was slim with ample curves, had dark, chocolate locks of spiraling hair, and was very kind.

She wasn't much older than the small group that was in his graduating class nor did she look older, but she was engaged and completely off limits, but Roy was still determined to satiate his desire for her. However, Ms. Hardin soon moved to a country far beyond Amestris to live closer to her fiancé's parents. Roy was left both disappointed and heartbroken; even more so when a harebrained male took her place.

So much for prestige, right?

He shrugged this memory away. It was normal to have such weak thoughts of such an insolent thing as falling head-over-heels for a teacher. He was only thinking of this because he knew both she and Absinthe were off limits, but he wasn't going to let it get to him and while in his perverted trance, he hadn't noticed that a tired Riza had skirted down the steps and had begun to help the Elric brothers in unpacking the boxed food.

With a loud sniff, Ed paused and lifted his head at the smell of the eggs and everyone could hear the following sound of his stomach loudly growling which received many sweat drops. Absinthe laughed aloud. "I'm guessing that you three would also like some? I hope you like eggs and that it isn't _too_ late for them," she groaned sarcastically at Roy who smirked childishly at his acknowledgment.

"I'm sure no one minds," Al laughed nervously as Ed furiously began unpacking faster in an attempt to finish up quickly and eat sooner. Riza smiled with a laugh at Ed's franticness and the trio sped up their work as Roy just sat back, folded his hands behind his head, crossed his legs, and enjoyed the view.

* * *

When dinner was finished and Mustang actually did some work and helped with cleaning up and putting the dishes away, Ed, Al, and Riza settled in downstairs to casually play a few card games amongst themselves while Absinthe finished arranging everything in her new room. It seemed she had already taken a liking to Riza's house and felt it was her place to stay.

A gentle knock at her door surprised her and without further adieu, Roy poked his head in around the corner. "Hi," he quipped and grinned. Absinthe smirked and rolled her eyes, but continued with folding the brown, V-neck long sleeve that she held in her hands before tucking it away in the top drawer of her vanity set/dresser.

"Whoever made the saying 'knock before entering' should be _knocked_ unconscious because it should really be 'knock and don't enter until I say so,'" she warned sarcastically, but didn't seem to care for his intrusion that much.

Rolling his eyes playfully, Roy turned on his heel and left, closing the door behind him. Absinthe smiled as a harder knock than before followed soon after. "Come in!" she chimed in victory as he twisted the brass knob and made a manly 'hmph' as he reentered. "So what's up?"

A quick glance around the room alerted him to lilac walls and white curtains with a matching white floor where a circular rug of many light, earthy colors lay. The bed had a dark blue comforter with baby blue and white pillows and accommodated the large, black vanity set that sat in the adjacent corner. As an added effect of sorts, a small balcony branched off near the closet. He noticed his surprised expression in its mirror and corrected himself immediately before turning his attention back to Absinthe. He hadn't been in her room before or much of the rest of Riza's house. _Damn..._ he thought. _Riza really knows how to chip in a few bucks._

Glad that she hadn't seemed to notice his previous expression, he cleared his throat and replied, "Oh, I came up to see how you were doing. I'm sure it's hard adjusting to a place you aren't used to." He winced as he realizes how stupid he sounded and runs a hand through his ebony hair. His dark eyes skimmed the room once more as though he were perusing the contents of a newspaper before they focused back onto Absinthe whom had now taken a seat on her bed.

"Well," she sighed, "It's definitely a lot different from where I used to live, but not really, you know?" She looked at him for reassurance, hoping that maybe he actually did know what she was talking about, but by his raised eyebrow, it appeared not. "I guess not," she mumbled. "Uhh, anyway, Germany was just like the countryside and cities just like here in Amestris since I was born and raised in Falkensee, but the people are just different, that's what I mean."

Roy nodded while staring out the balcony window, seemingly fixated on the lilies that were gently skimming across the surface of the water in a white bowl with light blue stripes. It had been placed on the glass top of an iron end table between two thatched white chairs. "I understand," he replied before taking a seat on the bed beside her. Suddenly after, the air grew thick with tension as they both became uncomfortable.

Trying to think quickly, Roy cleared his throat and asked, "Um, so have you tried taking a crack at any alchemy?" The blond lifted her head, glanced at him, then looked at the ceiling contemplatively, her bottom lip pulled into her mouth by her teeth as she gently nibbled on it.

"I tried, but didn't get far. All I did was make a piece of my sleeve dissolve into the floor," she laughed, "but Ed helped me undo it with more alchemy." Roy smirked and looked at her, but she averted her gaze once more and fell back onto her bed. "Those two are fun, but Al acts a lot younger than someone just a year younger than Ed sometimes."

Roy knew what the reason for this was and he inwardly grimaced. Maybe telling her why when she still hardly knew them was a bad idea, so he held his tongue. It wasn't her business anyway. "Ed is the more childish of the two in some cases, but he's been through enough to contradict that." He would say no more as to stay trustworthy to Ed. If he wanted to tell her, she'd have to go directly to him.

Lucky for him, Absinthe didn't question what that meant, but her brows twitched slightly in curiosity. What could possibly happen here? This place was so peaceful, but sometimes that's why it got boring. "Growing up in Germany was completely different than here. It was a hostile environment, but I came out okay. I just wish I had lived my life as a normal kid and ran around with others like Ed and Al," she sighs reminiscently.

Roy remained quiet and only nodded. The Elric Brothers had grown up during the Ishbalan War, but it hadn't affected them. World War II didn't seem to affect Absinthe either, but maybe she was only putting on a facade to hide the hurt within. Just like Ed.

"Well." Absinthe's voice wearily rang out and broke Roy's thoughts. "I'm going back downstairs. Are you coming with?" It was obviously a polite invitation that implied something along the lines of "you-said-something-bad-and-now-I-want-to-get-away-from-the-subject" kind of thing, so Roy slowly lifted himself from the bed, smoothed out the wrinkles he'd made on the blanket from where he'd sat, and headed to the door; however, before he exited, he sidestepped to the left and swung his arms low to gesture at the door.

"Ladies first," he insisted, raising a brow slightly with a smirk.

Absinthe closed the vanity drawer, almost slammed, and strided towards the exit,also pausing, but turning to poke Roy in the chest and growled, "I'm not a lady," before continuing to head down the hallway for a short way to the stairs. Roy laughed aloud, a little too loud, but headed after her. Absinthe immediately stopped in her tracks and reeled around at the laugh only to yell, "What's so funny!?"

Roy walked a few more steps towards her until he was a mere inches from where she stood, staring down at her with a tilt of his head and his hands in his pockets and replied, "You aren't a lady, you say? I was sure fooled," he purrs, watching the blush rise to her cheeks. He chuckled and rubbed her golden hair with his right hand before descending down the stairs, but he wasn't getting away so easily.

While still standing in the same spot, the hot-headed blond turned on her toe and glared at his back. Whilst raking her fingers madly through her hair to untangle it thanks to Roy's ruffling of it, she yells back, "Don't treat me like some kid!" He really knew how to piss someone off. Of course, Roy knew this, and only raised his hand again to wave like he was leaving. With a sigh and a momentary face/palm, Absinthe followed the military general down the staircase.

He also knew how to cheer people up, too.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This story is slightly AU-ish. It's both based off the _Fullmetal Alchemist_ anime and manga. I'm thinking of altering the way she entered the _FMA_ cast because now that I think about it, I _don't_ want her to come in after Shambala nor do I want her not knowing Hughes. I have an interesting plot going on behind that. Anyway, after the disclaimer, you can stop listening to me babble and get to the story... if you haven't already skipped this section yet.

**Disclaimer:** I do not in any way own _Fullmetal Alchemist_, its characters, or anything else pertaining to it. They are respectfully copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa, her team, Funimation, Aniplex, etc. However, I do own my OC Absinthe Grigginger and if you dare try stealing her, editing her, put her in your own story without _MY_ absolute permission, I will come at you like a rabid mother bear in heat. Trust me, that ain't pretty. :D

* * *

**Chapter Three**  
"Enter: Ling Yao"

"I'm tired of this game!" Ed whined and threw his cards down after playing, and failing, Solitaire for about ten minutes. Everyone around him stared in amusement as he pouted in failure, Ed's teeth gritted and his eyebrows furrowed as he got to his feet. After playing Go Fish with Alphonse and Riza for what felt like hours and losing to Al and Riza twice, he didn't feel like even looking at the cards as he headed to the door. "Meh, I'll be out," he grumbled and opened the door.

"Wait, Ed!" Absinthe yelled and held out a hand as she got up. Ed turned to face her with a raised eyebrow. "I haven't really gotten to see much of Central since I got here. I've only been to a few clothing stores and that's it and, well, I'd really appreciate it if you showed me around." Black Hayate lifted his head from where he slept beside Riza and barked at her, but was soon scolded by Riza with a tap on the nose.

Absinthe smiled at Ed and he sighed, flipping out his silver pocket watch to check the time before closing it and stuffing it down in his right pocket. "Fine, but if you're going somewhere, tell us before you suddenly run off," he grunted and began to walk through the door. Al, like always, got up to follow his brother out. Riza watched them head out, but suddenly, Roy interjected.

"Hold it right there," he yelled after them. "You're not walking all the way into Central, Ed. It's too far and soon it'll be getting dark. I'll drop you off." He stood and grabbed the car keys off the coffee table where Riza and them had been playing with the cards. Riza just sat on the floor for a few moments longer before she also stood, stretched, and scratched the back of her head.

"I enjoyed having you guys over and thanks again for bringing some more supplies, sir." Riza's maroon gaze was framed by a golden smile and Hayate yawned as he went to go eat the rest of the food that was in his bowl. As Roy paused, Ed, Absinthe, and Al peered back into the house as they wondered what was taking so long.

"Don't mention it," he replied with a return smile and waved as he turned back to the door. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." Slowly, he swung the door shut and clicked it in place, sighing slightly as he stared at the three teens like he had to babysit them. "All right, let's go," he said and started fumbling with the keys to find the one to his car.

Ed growled and folded his arms. "It took you long enough," he murmured angrily. Obviously, he was still a bit ticked about failing to beat the cards. Al mentally frowned at Ed and Absinthe didn't really give a damn as she moved towards the door.

"Allow me," Roy's thick voice said from behind her. Absinthe's eyes widened questioningly and she stepped back an inch to give him some room. He smirked down at her as he held the door open, waiting for her and the Elric Brothers to step in before closing it and heading to the driver's door.

"Um, thanks," she mumbled to him as she clicked her seatbelt in place and scooted more into her seat to give Ed and Al's chunky armor some room. Roy only raised his deep cobalt eyes at her through the reflection of the rear-view mirror before turning around and looking to see the way out, his elbow resting on the back of his seat as he reversed out of the driveway.

While they drove through the suburban part of Central that was where Riza lived, Absinthe nearly had her face plastered to the window to watch the world flying by in awe, though Ed and Al observed her with quizzical expressions. The golden-haired girl had a feeling she'd accept Amestris much like she had her old home in Germany. After all, they didn't have much differences. After about ten minutes of driving, Roy pointed at a tall, wide, brick house that stood much like a king across an emerald empire of grass and wrought iron gates. "See that white house right there? To the right is my house," he quipped, beaming with what looked like pride.

"Wow, Mustang, with _your_ paycheck, I'm surprised you can afford a crap shack like that," Ed snickered and looked at Roy's annoyed expression through the rear-view mirror.

"Ed, if that's a crap shack, than the Fuhrer is a homunculus," Roy retorted with a sly smile at the corner of his mouth. Al giggled a little and Ed only shrugged.

"Hey, you never know," he suggested with a mirthless wink before looking back out the car window at his house as they drove past. Even though Ed was acting like a jerk as always, inwardly, he was impressed. Mustang wasn't much of a liar unless he needed to keep a secret away from the two brothers. Absinthe was equally impressed and showed this by watching the house with an intently wide stare.

"Um, "house," my butt, that's a mansion! You could get lost in there!" she exclaimed as she switched her gaze to Roy. He smiled back at her and directed his eyes back to the road.

"I inherited it from my uncle when he died even though I didn't know him that well. He must've pitied me after witnessing what kind of hell I had to go through when I lived with my parents," he murmured slightly. Al raised a brow and Ed looked like he didn't give a damn either way. His elbow rested on his leg while his cheek was on his fist and he sighed.

"I didn't realize how long it took to get to Central before," he grunted as they finally spotted a familiar flower shop. "It takes much longer to get here from Resembool, though. Wouldn't you say so, Al?" He glanced at his brother.

Al nodded and as soon as the car stopped in front of an antiques store, Absinthe was out the door. "Whoa! I should wait before the car comes to a full stop before jumping out like that," she laughed as she almost tripped herself into the middle of the road. "I'm just really excited about seeing Central fully for the first time."

With a bored expression, Ed stepped out of the car after her and crossed his arms. "It isn't so big and exciting anymore once you get used to it," he yawned and began to stride off down the sidewalk in no particular direction. Roy and Al shut their doors as they climbed out and Roy watched Ed with a mischievous smirk.

"Don't get lost, Ed. Since you're so short, we'd have to have a magnifying glass to find you in this big city," he called after him.

Suddenly, Ed whipped around with two or three veins bulging out of his forehead and he roared, "DON'T CALL ME SHORT!" He stood there seething with his hands clenched into fists and many people stopped and stared at him, some of them even whispered amongst themselves. Because of the accumulating audience, Ed only bared his teeth and stomped off. Roy, with a satisfied smirk, arrogantly began to walk after him. Absinthe rolled her eyes since she'd already seen the dramatic display about a million times already and dragged Al along with her.

Quickly, due to Ed's audacious temper, they roamed through Central as the sun slowly began to descend further towards the opposite horizon; however, while Ed started towards a book store, he nonchalantly glanced to his left since he noticed an alley out of the corner of his eye. He slowly lowered his gaze, a look of increasing annoyance upon his face, and when he was finally staring at the ground, he yelled and jumped back.

"What is it, Brother!?" Al asked worriedly as he rushed towards the red-faced alchemist. Ed's left eye was twitching ridiculously as both Absinthe and Roy curiously stepped up to them.

"It's h-him!!" Ed shrieked, his right arm shooting up and pointing at a black-haired, orange-cloaked man lying face down in an alleyway. "This bastard still owes me for that huge bill back in Rush Valley!" Sweat drops appeared to gather on Al's armor as he intensely stared at his brother.

Absinthe looked like she had just seen a ghost and stood at a relatively safe distance away as she howled, "Is he dead!!?" Chuckling softly, Roy put his hands in his uniform pockets and shifted his cobalt eyes over to Ed.

"I've cleaned up plenty of your messes, Fullmetal. You can take care of this one."

Ed sneered, used his auto-mail foot to kick the limp body's head unsympathetically (which resulted with a "Hey! Respect for the dead!" from Absinthe), then grabbed the mentioned head by the ebony ponytail. "If he eats like a horse again, you're treating, Mustang," Ed grunted as he hoisted the man onto his shoulder.

"Didn't you hear what I just said!?"

"Mmmmhhhhmm!!" the revived man said as he smacked his lips in satisfaction after finishing his meal. What appeared to be about twenty or so china bowls towered in front of the foreigner that had just deducted another 1,000 cenz from Ed's back account. "I would have died without you, Ed! I could've sworn that beauty I woke up to was an angel coming to take me to heaven," he cried in gratitude, cracking a wide smile as he motioned towards Absinthe who then nervously laughed and fanned at him with her hand. Roy slightly narrowed his eyes at the comment, but kept a level head.

"Trust me, it wasn't heaven you were going to..." Ed growled as his clenched fist trembled under the strain.

"Now, Brother..." Al warned and Ed wrinkled his nose, rolling his eyes towards the azure sky to take his mind away from how much he wanted to break all the dishes on the foreigner's Xingese face. Oh, if only he could, but that would just be more trouble.

"What're you still doing in Central, Ling?" Roy asked in mild interest as he rested his elbows on the picnic table they sat at in front of a local diner called what else but Dale's Diner. Ling lifted his brows and slightly chewed on the chopstick that was now dangling out of his mouth much like Havoc with a cigarette.

Absinthe leaned forward and cocked her mouth slightly in evident wonder of why someone with such Eastern features would be traveling about in Central. It was possible that he'd immigrated over, but since he had a dao attached to his back, it didn't seem likely. If he wanted a reputation around here, he wouldn't want to be causing trouble.

Ling propped his cheek on his knuckles. "Oh, the same as always. Running around, passing out from starvation, losing my servants... ha! Just kidding. It's because I still haven't found what I've been looking for..." he said mysteriously and turned towards the blond-haired girl sitting across from him and gasped in surprise. "When did Ed become a girl!?"

"WHAT?" Absinthe bellowed with wide eyes. Ed had previously been sitting in her spot, but moved off without informing them to go browse at the bookstore. Of course, Al had tagged along and Ling just hadn't been paying attention.

"Oh, oops!" Ling laughed. "You two look a lot alike."

Roy smiled softly and then added his two cents (or cenz, tee hee!), "Yeah, now that you mention it, they're almost like twins."

Absinthe gasped in disbelief at Roy and jabbed a finger at him. "Are you calling me short!?" Uh oh, the danger-o-meter level was rising and would soon be at its peak and the colonel immediately jumped to defend himself.

"Not at all!" he murmured uncharacteristically and held up his hands innocently.

The blond hummed, narrowed her eyes discriminatingly, and slid them towards Ling. "Well, with those squinty eyes, I'm sure it's hard to see things clearly anyway," she purred and grinned mischievously to which Ling cried and whispered, "Why is it always about my eyes?"

"By the way, I never caught your name!" Ling started. "My name is Ling Yao! It's a pleasure to be of your acquaintance, my lady." He gently took Absinthe's hand in his and gave it a soft kiss.

Taken by complete surprise, a crimson blush spread across Absinthe's face and she fidgeted her hand in his uncomfortably as she replied, "Mine is Absinthe Grigginger. Pleased to meet you." Roy grumbled just beneath his breath and was about to change the subject when suddenly two black streaks leaped towards Ling, again taking Absinthe, and Roy, by surprise.

"Ah, Ran Fan! Fu!" Ling exclaimed as the streaks took the forms of a pair of armored and darkly-clothed people that were wearing masks. Absinthe guessed by the yin and yang symbols on the masks' foreheads that they were his servants he had mentioned earlier. The Xingese man delicately released her hand and took the chopstick from his lips, sliding it up his other arm until it disappeared somewhere... presumably with its partner.

The person to Ling's left yelled, "Young Lord! Thank goodness we found you. We've been looking for you everywhere!" The voice belonged to that of a young woman and she sounded both distressed and very relieved.

Next, the person on the right sharpened his gaze on Absinthe and Roy. "Thank you for finding and saving the life of the Young Lord," the deep, yet raspy voice of an old man said before he bowed to them.

"Errrmmm," Absinthe muttered. "Young Lord?" She glanced at Roy, who only nodded at her, then to Ling, with a confused look on her face.

"Oh, that's right." Ling crossed him arms and smiled slyly at Absinthe. "I'm the twelfth prince of Xing."

The golden-haired girl hummed in wonder, her chin and mouth cupped by her hand, then she smoothly replied, "Do you have a passport?" Everyone fell over due to her lack of caring about his high status.

"He just told you he's the twelfth _prince of Xing_ and you don't care?" Roy interjected with an amused laugh at how far Ling's jaw had dropped.

"Don't tell me you're a policewoman or something!" he babbled and Absinthe snorted.

"Do I look like one? I couldn't be a cop even if I wanted to. I'm only fifteen!"

Ling leaned forward at her comment and smiled even wider. "Really? Because I'm also fifteen." Finally, he got a satisfactory reaction from her when she boomed, "YOU'RE FIFTEEN?" Ling bobbed his head boastfully and smirked.

"I could've sworn you were maybe eighteen or nineteen," she mumbled as she stared at his features with a wary eye.

"That's not entirely true, Absinthe. About the policewoman thing," Roy suddenly spoke.

Absinthe turned and raised an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean? It can be possible here?"

Roy shrugged and glanced over at her. "If you prove to be beyond exceptional, maybe. Ed joined the military when he was only twelve."

Both Ling and Absinthe's jaws dropped a bit and she sputtered, "No way! That's corrupt! How did he pull it off?"

"He has the ability to transmute without a circle because he committed the alchemic taboo: human transmutation. He tried to resurrect his mother and failed which cost Al his entire body and Ed his right arm and left leg. He joined the military to access research about the Philosopher's Stone and to find a way to get those back."

Ling looked quite puzzled and amazed at the same time and murmured, "This country's alchemy is quite unique indeed..." Absinthe frowned and stared at the table top, her eyebrows beginning to furrow as she thought hard. Was this the key to returning to Germany? Would she finally be able to protect her family from the war? This was the perfect opportunity.

Suddenly, Absinthe lifted her head and stared at Roy with hard determination, her golden eyes burning like embers. "I want to join the military, Roy. This is my chance to get the Philosopher's Stone and find a way back to my home country. I can maybe even use what's left of the Stone there to end the war!" she exclaimed, her hands clenched into fists.

The quartet around her stared back in surprise and Ling's group looked confused all the same. "Couldn't you just get back to your country by land travel?"

Absinthe shook her head. "I'm afraid not. It's going to sound weird, but I came from a different dimension that's almost like this one. Right now a terrible war is happening and my country and family are in danger."

"Absinthe, remember that when you join the military, you must always be prepared to carry out your duties as a soldier," Roy reminded.

The blond felt a fearful doubt run up her spine, but she shrugged it away and replied, "How could I forget? I'm willing to die for my country and while I'm an illegal resident in this one, I should repay you with my services whenever the time comes, I guess... but... I can't turn back now when I know that the Philosopher's Stone is my way forward."

Just as Absinthe finished her mild speech, Ed and Al walked up from behind her with a glazed donut in his hand. "Oi, can we get going now? You've all been talking for a long time."

Ling perked and piped up, "Ooo, can I tag along? I still haven't gotten to know a lot about your friend here yet." He cast a smirk at Absinthe who grunted and got up.

"Ed's right. It's getting kind of cold and I still have only seen only a few things around here!"

"If you were cold, why didn't you say so?" Roy quipped as he shrugged his overcoat off his back and held it out to her. Quizzically, she stared at it a few seconds before accepting it with a small "thank you."

Together, the quintet of Ling, Absinthe, Roy, Ed, and Al ventured off to scout out the rest of Central while Ran Fan and Fu followed closely behind their master, yet stayed hidden upon the rooftops. Ed mostly led the way by choosing where they went while Roy continually tried to regain control of the escapade by instigating fights with Ed over what the whole ordeal was even about (which caused him to swerve around on the roads real bad). Al was swatted for picking up the occasional stray cat and Ling kept asking Absinthe questions like what her favorite food was and how many princes she had ever met before. Eventually, after they'd trekked through much of the outside of Central, Absinthe yearned to see the military headquarters.

"I've seen it in the newspaper before. It looks really interesting and I'd like to see the inside of it sometime!" she squealed like a spoiled child.

"You will soon enough, but we can't go tonight. It's close to seven and Riza needs you back before then," Roy replied casually, but Ed immediately became alert.

"What do you mean 'soon enough'? Is there something going on I don't know about?" he asked with a voice laced in irritation. Absinthe quickly knew she was done for and she wiggled back into her seat which accidentally pushed her back into Ling who then grinned ear to ear and said nothing.

"Don't get mad, Ed, but... I told Roy that I wanted to join the military," she mumbled timidly. This didn't keep Ed from becoming angry. A vein throbbed from his forehead and he was soon in a fit of rage.

"What the _hell_, Mustang? Was this your idea? You know the military is no place for a girl like her! What's wrong with you!?" he yelled at him irately and dug his elbows into the seat to keep himself from launching at Roy who was actually having a hard time steering as it was because of him.

"Shut up, Ed. You don't know the whole story! Absinthe told me she wanted to apply out of her own free will. I had no influence in the situation," he growled.

"I don't believe you for a minute, you bastard."

"Why don't you ask her yourself instead of pestering me, you ant!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!?"

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!"

"Will you _both_ SHUT UP!?" Al shrieked all of a sudden.

The car soon became quiet as Roy and Ed were interrupted by his yell and they glanced back at him.

He sighed and placed his hands back in his lap where they had originally been when they weren't clamped onto his ears like they were just previously. "Thank you!" he said exasperatedly.

Ed lowered his voice just above a whisper and asked Absinthe, "Is this true?" She was silent for a moment, but he finally heard a "yes."

"I... Roy told me about your story... about why you joined the military and I was inspired. I thought that maybe I could find a way back to Germany..." She had hoped the words would ease him, but they instead made it worse.

"I see how it is, then..." Ed murmured and he stared at Roy. "Stop the car."

Roy furrowed his brows and gazed at him tiredly. "Now, Ed, this is nothing to get--"

"Just stop the damn car!" Ed interrupted with an unexpected yell and Roy found a spot next to a street lamp to brake.

"You can't expect me to let you and Al walk back to your hotel in a neighborhood like this! Get back in the car!" Roy yelled at Ed as the door was slammed in his face.

"And you can't expect me to hang around with someone like you who tries to take my friends away from me! C'mon, Al..." he seethed as he began to trudge away down some bleak alley.

"Don't act like such a child, Ed. Seriously now, get back in the car."

"Screw you!"

Absinthe watched Ed stomp away and Al climb out of the car. "Sorry, Colonel," he whispered as he followed after his pouting brother.

"Edward..." Absinthe sighed disappointedly as she put her face in her palm.

"Does he truly think that you're just going to give up your dream to stay with him? How selfish," Ling suddenly spoke, but also made his way out of the car. "Excuse me for now. I must go as I'm staying with them tonight. I do hope we meet again sometime. I appreciate your kindness," he reflexively said as though he had rehearsed it, bowed, then walked after them.

"Dammit," Roy muttered and violently jerked the car back onto the road and sped off. The rest of the car ride was remotely silent until they were about two blocks from Riza's house which was when Absinthe worked up the courage to finally say her apology.

"I'm sorry, Roy. This is my fault. I shouldn't have told him about what you sa--"

"No it's not. Don't worry about it. It's my fault for telling you about Ed's personal life in the first place. It was none of my business telling you," he sighed and pinched his sinuses. Seeing Roy like this made Absinthe feel like crap for getting him into this mess, but she couldn't say anything else. He'd flatly refused her apology and that was that. She knew that if she kept pouring salt into the wound, he would eventually get angry, so she let it be.

The car pulled up into Riza's driveway, Absinthe slid the black overcoat off her shoulders, and handed it back to Roy. "Today was fun. Thanks," she said softly and smiled weakly. Roy didn't return the smile, but he did say "you're welcome" before pulling out and driving the opposite way back to his house. She knew by his attitude that he'd probably be drinking tonight even if what happened wasn't a big deal. Ed was just being a selfish snot and would eventually get over it.

But still... she felt like crap.


End file.
